All that I love.. Life told by Brooke K. Sisneros

My loves

2012-02-09T10:29:00.000-08:00

These girls you see are the loves of my life. Look at them. So different, so full of life. My babies.

My hope is in my lord and savior, Jesus. I love my girls and they bring life to me, but my one truest love is Jesus. He fills me. When I am at the bottom and I really need to be at the top or at least somewhere in the middle for those girls, he fills me. When life hurts and it's messy because of something I said or something someone else said He still brings me peace. He still gives me hope that there are brighter days ahead with some rainy ones too. And that is truth.

Somedays with my husband and littles are bright, and some are really rough.

I am not enough for them. But Jesus is. My hope is that each one of them would be filled with his hope. When I let them down because i'm just me HE is the greater that is in them.

Blogging hasn't been as much on my mind lately, probably because I haven't been taking that many photos with my camera but only on instagram. That is my new favorite. If you have an iphone, which you probably do that you know how fun it is. Things are busy lately. There have been some ups and downs but more ups which is good.

C is on the move in her walker and trying every food i'll let her try. She is pointing at everything with her middle finger. Nice huh. She is a little babe.

Ava oh my Ava. So smart. My excellent reader. She is such a kindred spirit. I feel like when I stare into her eyes I am going deep into her soul. That girl has so much love to give. I pray that I don't hinder that as her mother and my over protective ways. I want her to experience life the way she wants to.

So my friends who tune into my posts I hope you are doing well wherever you are.

January comes to an end.

2012-01-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that we are already at the end of January. It is very true, once you have children or wait once you become an adult the clock seems to tick a little faster. Ava's first semester of first grade is over. Her last progress report was straight A's so we'll see how her report card is. I am always curious how school is going for her since I have to pry her day out of her usually. Still she is good at answering my questions. They usually go something like this me "how was your day?" ava "good" with the occasional "awesome" me "who did you sit by at lunch?" ava "abby, zoe and some other name here and there" me "great is there anything you want to talk about?" ava"not now." I sometimes wonder how the conversations will be when she's fifteen or so. Ava also lost her two top teeth in december and the second one a couple of weeks ago. I remember her being a baby thinking I can only imagine when she is old enough to start losing teeth and here it is.

Here are my little gems. One with no teeth and the other losing half of them.

This is me with my girls. Most of the time they are just like this. If one isn't whining the other is. Although as I type they are both playing and are quite fond of each other. Those are happy moments for this momma.

I hope to blog about Ava's little art area that we set up when we moved in a month ago. Soon very soon friends. Ciao!

8

2012-01-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

How did eight months already go by since my sweet little baby was born. Life is so busy that time goes to quickly. My heart is overjoyed that I have a healthy baby and actually I should say two healthy babies. We don't get sick much over here, praise the Lord. And I don't praise God enough for that. I probably don't praise him enough for the joy that my girls bring me. Yesterday evening I was balancing Cecilia on my hip with one hand and blow drying her hair with the other after her bath while I could hear Ava reading aloud and in the back ground of that amazing grace was playing on the ipod. The part it was at said "when we've been there ten thousand years"... Can you even imagine, ten thousand years with our heavenly father. Ten thousand years in perfection no more hurt and pain, no more grudges, no more pain. I say pain twice because I still have so much in my heart and it's hard to give it ALL to Jesus. It get's hard to always have faith that his plan has us experiencing pain so that we can draw nearer to him. So that whatever brings us to our knees will be done so that we can glorify HIM. How can that be easy. I actually don't believe it can, but the bible says His yolk is easy and His burden is light. One of Ava's memory verses was Hebrews 13:6-"So we can say with confidence the Lord is my helper so I will have no fear, what can mere people do to me". If I can stay focused on those last two sentences I typed my faith grows and the Lord brings me peace through those words. Daily I need to say I want a clean and pure heart Lord so that my mind can think clearly and choose to do the right thing.

I suppose if someone is reading this it might not make sense. Ryan and I always talk about certain things that make sense to us when we think of something but than it comes out wrong and someone might not understand. However that's not why I choose to write about my journey. I can name a few people that have me completely misunderstood and it's okay. That's not why i'm here so that everyone can understand me. I am learning in baby steps that not everyone is going to except me for who I am. And let's be clear here I am a little different. Ha. I can laugh at that one.

On to my baby being eight months. Wow, she is so beautiful to me. Her blue gray eyes. Her wispy different colored hair and her creamy fair skin that is like snow white. Ava and I love to smell her all up when she wakes up in the morning. It's like a breath of heaven. Cecilia still has no teeth at eight months, she still loves to eat more than anything. I just started giving her cod liver oil by a little dropper and she loves it, such a good baby. Sleeping through the night still and trying her best to crawl but hasn't mastered it yet. Pulling herself up pretty well. Laughs at Ava like nothing else. That is my favorite watching them play. She loves her papa a whole lot and cries if he doesn't pick her up. She just started going to the nursery at church these last two weeks and she does so well. Loves to be sung to and i'm thankful for that because I am not the greatest singer but she thinks so. She still falls asleep by herself which is great but I do admit I wish she would let me rock her to sleep here and there. But honestly i'm glad she doesn't depend on that, i'm not that patient. Overall she is doing very well. I pray that she is always able to bless others the way I watch her big sister bless others.

Re-living Christmas

2012-01-09T10:51:00.000-08:00

Every year on Christmas I always wonder what the right thing is to do. We don't do the "Santa" thing. Not because I'm putting anyone down who does but I just can't lie straight in the face to my little girl. Now don't get me wrong, when she says "mom Santas real and I can't wait for him to come" I can't shoot that down either. I have just let her know that he is a fun character but we need to really be focused on Jesus because to me celebrating our Saviors birthday is really hard to mix with a jolly man coming down the chimney. Thankfully Ava doesn't get to let down by that, she was happy to be blessed with a few gifts. Celebrating this year was fun. Ava did have a meltdown on Christmas Eve which always makes things hard because I don't want to reward that type of behavior with gifts but.. well just that BUT... discipline is hard sometimes. That a different topic for another day. Here are some pictures from Christmas Eve.

Had to throw one real one in there because really is it ever easy to get some family pictures. But I am glad we took a few minutes to get some.

One last one of us. Can you see Ryans forced smile. Kind of makes me laugh. Hope everyone has a happy new year!

Moving on

2011-12-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hey! I am still alive! I know it's only been a couple of weeks since i've last blogged but things have been crazy over here. But I do miss blogging. Anyway we are moving again and so I had to find a place in a very short time span. And I say "I" because Ryan says he can find a place in one day and be moved in tomorrow but I am picky. Anyway, I hope to blog about christmas etc soon after it's over as long as everything goes smoothly. Until than hope everyone has a merry christmas!

Thanksgiving

2011-12-01T10:15:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday however I always have some anxiety leading up to it. It's mainly because I have to share Ava and if you know me than you know how much I don't like it. However for the last five years it has always worked out and that should give me a calm feeling by now but it hasn't yet. I have also been struggling in other ways that really feel like a huge brick is sitting on me. I know I will get through it. The Lord is truly helping me in every way. He has used my family, this past weekends church service and my children to help me stay on course. That I am thankful for. Hope your thanksgiving was wonderful.

Here are a few pictures of my girls. They make everyday worth living.

My brothers bday

2011-11-22T18:15:00.000-08:00

My little brother turned 19 on sunday! Here are a bunch of pictures of us hangin out. It was fun. I took more than these but I just got a little lazy uploading. So if you don't see ryan nick etc. than you know why. Anyway hope you had a great birthday brother!!

Operation Christmas Child

2011-11-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

Every year our church does angel tree and operation christmas child. I usually try and do one or the other so when Ava came home from school, yes school not church(very exciting) with her info on operation christmas child I thought it would be good to participate with her class. She was so excited after getting all the little gifts and wrapping the box than putting it all together. Obviously giving feels good and you can't make someone get that feeling until they do it themselves. My favorite part was when she agreed to pray for that little girl and how we talked about all the little things she can use. I am hoping her open hands remain as she grows into a young lady.

Happy birthday mom!

2011-11-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

We celebrated my moms birthday this last weekend and it was lots of fun. Be prepared for picture overload! I love my mom so much. She is very supportive of me and my family. I appreciate everything she does for me and she is Avas favorite person all the way. So cheers to my mom!!

6 months

2011-11-14T11:42:00.000-08:00

Oh Cecilia Faye you are half a year old. Please stop growing. As much as I love these new stages in your growth I don't want it to go so fast. And if you keep growing than so does big sis and that I am also not prepared for. I love you girls so much.

At 6 months you are gaining lots of weight. It looks adorable on you. You are 17 lbs and 26 inches long. You love to eat still. You look like a little angel but you are still fiesty. You love your papa and sister and you light up when they get home. You are sitting by yourself and you want to crawl. You are a daily reminder that the Lord has blessed me and continues to do so even when I am struggling. Happy 6 months baby girl(yesterday)!!

Bookclub

2011-11-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

I have never been in a bookclub before but I have seen so many neat things that people do when they are in one. A couple of years ago I was invited to be in one but it just didn't work for my schedule. My sister and I decided to start one. It's only us two now but maybe in the future there will be actual members. And since it is just us two we have been a little relaxed about everything. Our first pick was chosen by me. I had wanted to see Water for Elephants in the movies but since I never go to the movies and I love to read I chose that. I have to admit I took forever to read this one because every time I sat down I had to get back up. Right after I had Ava I read three books in a month. However now that Cecilia has joined the bunch I am not as dedicated. I miss reading and I do hope to carve more time in because I enjoy it so much.

Anyway my sister was nice enough to agree because she didn't really want to read it. In the end we had our first meeting, rented the film and watched it at my house. Thanks Monique for making yogurt pie, a favorite from our childhood. Except now with greek yogurt it spiced it up a bit.

Final review. We both agreed that if you are going to read a book that is turned or turning into a movie, watch the movie first. Books always have more detail and you won't be let down when certain parts are not put into the movie. Good movie better book but not something I will watch or pick up to read again. Can't wait to get started on our next pick.

Costumes

2011-11-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here are my trick or treaters the other night. I was pretty irritated with myself, I forgot to take my camera but I got a few of Ava when we got home and the one of baby was taken by my brothers phone. Oh well.. Here they are. My candy corn queen and my pumpkin. Aren't they cute.

Birthdays

2011-10-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend we celebrated mine and my sis' birthday. We are six days less than being a full two years apart. Just thought i'd add that in. Anyway we always celebrate together and I love it. I don't like a whole lot of attention on just me so it works out great. I also don't like to make a big fuss over my birthday but I definately enjoy celebrating with my family. They are my favorite. Here are a bunch of pictures. I had a wonderful evening to say the least.

Harvest festival

2011-10-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

I had a blast at Ava's all school/classroom harvest festival. Each class did a theme and hers was Snow White and the Twenty Four Dwarfs. It really fills me up being around the children. I guess what I mean is that it's a reminder that the best things in life really are priceless and most importantly not things. When you are a child relationships aren't as complex the way they are as an adult.

My dwarf playing a game and getting her face painted.

Three of the kiddos in my group. Not sure where my other little one was.

Ava was totally impressive eating the donut off a string. She did it three times with no problem.

Snow White and her dwarfs. Wish I would have gotten pictures of all the games and booths, they were really over done. It was a memorable time.

pjs

2011-10-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

The last couple of evenings have been a little cold so we pulled out the warm pajamas. There is something so sweet about freshly bathed children that I love. Here are the girls hangin out on my bed watching narnia. (not cecilia don't worry)

Lunchbox

2011-10-25T13:03:00.000-07:00

If you know me I could and usually do eat the same thing almost everyday. Ava on the other hand is not like me. She likes spice, adventure, pizazz. You get my drift. She will usually try everything before she decides whether she likes it. So when it comes to her lunchbox I have to really try other wise she comes home starving with everything I gave her only a quarter eaten. That usually frustrates me because I know how important it is for her to eat. Above is just an example of the latest. I always make her take a sandwich and she is never thrilled however she likes pb&j on crushed wheat or if I give her turkey it has to be from the deli not pre packaged. In tow she has a h2o bottle with her daily and just this week I started letting her take that junior juice. Also her latest favorite snack are the ak-mak crackers and salami and string cheese. We spend quite a bit of money around here on food because we like fresh and local if we can. So I have to ask if you have any tips or ideas to share please do!! (side note; they don't have microwaves or hot lunch at her school otherwise i'd send her with leftovers or a hot meal)

Leftovers

2011-10-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

The day before my birthday last week Ryan surprised me with flowers and a gag gift. If you saw my fb post you saw the brush that would help me make my hair look just like Bella on Twilight. Lucky me huh. I'm smiling. He's not typically the joker all the time but every now and than he comes up with a good one. Here are my flowers today one week later. So pretty and fall like. Another smile. Oh and happy birthday to my sis today. Looking forward to celebrate together this weekend.

pumpkins

2011-10-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

Take a look at my pumpkins. I could just eat them.

tears of joy

2011-10-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

When Ava turned five months on 10/10/05 we got her ears pierced. It was only fitting to do the same for C. Except we couldn't go on 10/13 so it was the next day. She may have cried and I could not watch but she'll be thanking me later when she get's to wear prettys. Some would say i'm mean for putting my sweet little baby through that I say those who make their kids sit through four vaccinations in one doctors sitting for no reason are. ;)

26

2011-10-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Woah, I am officially 26. I know what some might say; that is still young. And yes it is. I still have all the opportunity etc that a young person has. However it's really just odd to think that in four years I will be thirty. So with that being said I still get told I look like i'm in high school and people think Ava is my little sister. Cheers to being forever young. Ha! Anyway my birthday turned out very pleasant. Ryan took the day off from both jobs which hardly ever happens during the week. We hung out and went to get coffee which is my fave, went shopping but I only found a blazer( I really need shoes) and got our errands done. I was most excited to pick Ava up from school and surprise her with her new book and news that we were going to the book signing where we got to meet the author. She was thrilled. When I was in elementary we had authors come to our school read to us and if you bought a book they would sign it. Two different occasions my mom gave me money to buy a book and I still have them. Actually Ava reads them now and she thinks it's so neat that the author signed it to me. Okay that was a lot of info. So we went and it was so fun. I had watery eyes listening to her journey, I know so lame but that is my dream to write childrens books and it was really inspiring to hear. Ryan took care of Cecilia while she was a little loud so I could sit with Ava. It was a fun day, no birthday cake but really I could do without anyway. Side note the author was Laura Numerof, she has many books but the most popular is "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie".

pumpkin farm

2011-10-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

It's a funny thing when you look at pictures it can make things look wonderful. And although I do cherish time with my husband and kids and looking back on wonderful pictures, our time at the pumpkin patch was not wonderful. It was to hot(if you know me you know how much I loathe the heat) and way to crowded. I like to get up early and out the door early but when your husband works til 1am and get's almost no sleep that makes saturday morning outings a little more hard. It's okay I got the girls ready and only left the house forgetting more diapers. I had 2 in the bag and some wipes so we stopped at target to get more. I got my latte and we were there an hour and a half later than I wanted. Anyway ava enjoyed some play time etc. We were there awhile and on the way home we talked about next year and all the things that would have made it more enjoyable. :)

5 months

2011-10-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Happy 5 months cecilia. You are a dream boat, usually.

At 5 months you: love to sleep still(but have woken up a few nights here and there to eat, your growing I assume). Love ava so much, you look like you want to run and play with her. You love lola and you look very much like your papa when you watch her like you are in another world. You love to eat. You enjoy being on your tummy and can roll onto your back but not from your back to your tummy. You love to be outside. You are so sweet and you really have blessed those around you. You look so much like me in my baby pictures but a white version. You are not crazy about the stroller but you love the sling. You enjoy sucking on your fingers. You play peek a boo so well. You are so fond of playing with the alligator piano. We love you baby girl!

this week

2011-10-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

a few photos from the past couple of days. ava loves to play teacher and read to cecilia and she loves to be entertained. perfect match. (side note, i have been working on using my camera with no flash all manual. i am liking how the natural light comes in from outside)

foodie

2011-10-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

My baby is a foodie already. So was ava actually everything you give them they love. When she sees us eat she gets excited and starts chewing. I haven't rushed giving her solids yet. I have given her little tastes of things and she loved them. She's been eating rice cereal since she turned four months(she'll be 5 months on thursday) and she eats it so well. No spills. So today I gave her carrots for the first time and she was sucking the spoon. Such a good little girl not wasting. Can't wait to see what she does as we expand her food pallet.

sisters are something special

2011-10-11T17:18:00.001-07:00

2011-10-11T11:31:00.001-07:00

beauty

2011-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

This week I have spent some time thinking about my daughters. Mainly ava seeing that she is in school and I wonder what she's doing, how she is feeling etc. Baby cecilia too but I am with her just about every moment of every day so it's a little different. I had the opportunity to help in ava's class starting last friday and let me tell you I am thrilled. I have been having a blast. I get out of the house which feels great, I get to play with my little girl at recess and I even jumped rope. Haven't done that in years. These really sweet fifth graders turned the rope for me. It really was great, and the funny thing is ava loved it. She doesn't know how to jumprope yet and so she thought I was pretty cool. That does not happen often and I'm sure it won't be a trend but i'm hopeful.

Anyway back to my thoughts. I wonder what makes a girl feel pretty. I know being a mom to my little's makes me feel pretty and also being with my husband. But I can't remember what made me feel pretty as a little girl. I was painfully shy and insecure. I liked wearing dresses but I hated any attention so I didn't want to wear them to school..

I watch ava when she's in school and she is not shy that's for sure. But when I make her wear pants three days in a row because it's cold and drizzly out she get's upset and says she looks like a boy. Don't worry I ran to target in the rain yesterday evening to get her tights that match her uniforms so she could wear her skirts again and she was back to feeling like a girl. But that doesn't change the little tift she got into with her friend this week. She has a friend that prefers if she only plays with her and when she played with someone else she said mean things to ava. And that is something ava can figure out on her own, however when she told me her friend called her ugly that made me sad. Sad because those words hurt her feelings and I would do anything to take that hurt away but I can't. The good thing ava stood up for herself, she said 'that is not true don't say those things'. And the next day they are back to being bff. It does make me wonder though. How many times will someone tear her down that will effect how she looks at herself. No matter what her parents and family say she will probably look for acceptance else where. I have to admit I wish she never would, I wish she were perfect and that she would know that our heavenly father made us in his image and he loves her and made her exactly how he wanted her to be. She knows that now but will she always feel that?

So today and always my prayer is this:‎ "God, be to my daughters what I cannot, when I cannot. . . thank You that You are always here for us and we can come to You. . . only You."

lullaby

2011-09-29T10:51:00.001-07:00

This is what my girls have been listening to lately when they go to sleep. And during the day when cecilia naps. I put it on my ipod and put our dock in their room, but I am actually looking for a hello kitty dock so I don't have to keep transfering ours back and forth. Anyway I got this at target if anyone is interested and it's really beautiful music to listen to. Pairs perfectly after our nightly devotions and reading time.

innocence

2011-09-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Looking at these pictures I can almost breathe the innocence in my girls, I usually have those moments when they are asleep. Maybe it was the fall air that made me feel this way or better yet the sermon at church this morning. Either way I told myself to take some pictures because I always want to remember the look on those little faces. Nothing in life is perfect, especially mine but there are some really good things/people/moments in my life.

C loves her sis and lola so much. I love to watch them interact. Ava can make this girl laugh and smile like no other. Right after this picture c tried to eat lola's ear.

Ryan snapped this photo of me, I may not be crazy about it but I wish I had more pictures of my mom when she had little one's and I don't so I hope my girls appreciate this when they are older.

Here are a few pictures of sunday evening, Grandma carla brought some gifts over from disneyland. Ava was thrilled and so was cecilia.

I hope this week brings good things.

newcomer

2011-09-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

I have fed many babies before my own starting with my little brother who is now almost nineteen. I have cared for many children before my two girls. I have taught a few children to snap and whistle before I was an adult..

But before my own I never knew the importance of teaching your children. Teaching them about the lord, to follow and love him with all of your heart. To be mindful of him in everything that you do. To teach them to be responsible with money, chores, school work. To cherish family time and to value friendships in a healthy way. To tie your shoes and ride a bike. To eat well and live well.

How do you teach them these things when some I don't even do myself. How do I lead by example when I am hanging by a thread somedays. How can I show my girls how important it is to forgive when I still have hurt in my heart. To love with no conditions if I struggle at that myself.

I am a newcomer that's for sure. I am parenting on the little knowledge that I have. And most days I am making things up as I go. New rules suddenly come into place now that my ava is six. My mind is filled each night of ways I could have re-done things throughout the day, but more importantly of all the love that is between us.

I am sure I will never know all the tricks of this trade. But I will have joy in the things I do know. I know just how my babies like to be held. I know when they don't feel well. I know when they have had a hard day. I know when they feel safe. I know just how(cecilia) and what(ava) they like to eat.

And I know most days they are teaching me how to love unconditionally, to have a forgiving heart and cherish the little time we have together.

hello monday

2011-09-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

monday is here again. back to school schedule, work schedule, laundry and cooking. i can't complain i hung out with my brother and sister today. we had a little project that we worked on and hopefully i'll be able to reveal it soon. here are some pictures from saturday. we went to davis and vacaville to hangout. it's nice to see something different. hope everyone else had a fun weekend.

4 months

2011-09-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

We took baby for her four month check up today. It went great. She is still in the 50th percentile for height(24 and a quarter inches) and weight(13lbs 14.8oz). She is very strong. C is still sleeping through the night usually from about 7pm til 6am. She tried rice cereal today and loved it. She loves to laugh and scream loud, sit and practice standing. She is super cranky if she doesn't get her bottle on time. Enjoys watching ava. She tries to put her pacifier in her mouth on her own. She will sit in her bumbo and look at her books, she has turned pages but i'm sure it wasn't on purpose. Still loves bath time, being outside and being entertained in general.

This is how she falls asleep. I lay her down and out the blanket over her and she covers her face everytime. She is so interesting to watch. We love our baby and all her quirks.

sunday

2011-09-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

circus vargas

2011-09-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

On friday night I took ava to the circus. Not just any circus, circus vargas. I went to circus vargas when I was six years old and so odd that that ended up being my daughters last name. Anyway it was fun. I kind of felt like I was at a freak show, not just the entertainment the crowd too. Sorry if that sounds judgemental but it's kind of true.

Ava was so excited to be on a date with me. Love this girl. She lights up life.

I only had my little point and shoot camera so I didn't get any good pictures of the acts. I really wish there were animals just like the old days, but overall it was entertaining. Ava loved the costumes and she said she wanted to do what the acrobats were doing. Hearing both of those things kind of scared me.

It was a super hot(you can see us sweating) and fun night. Thankful for nights like these. Thanks to ryan for getting us tickets and to my mom for watching baby. :)

2011-09-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

How cute are these dresses!! Top one is ava's size and the bottom is for baby cecilia. Perfect for fall...

first grade!

2011-09-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

My baby is in first grade! So crazy how fast these years are going. I always have that feeling like I can't catch up, I have my running shoes on but time is always way ahead of me. The night before ava was excited. This is her first year at this school and it's a brand new school so new everything. I woke her up in the morning and she said 'mom i don't want to go'. Nice way to start off huh.. But once she picked out her clothes she started cheering up. Breakfast went well and so did the drop off. When we got to her class her excitement kicked in.

Before school I forced her to take pictures, she wasn't thrilled. I was.

Ryan likes to take pictures of me when I have no clue, than I turn out looking like a nerd. Ava looks cute though.

In class with the 'dads'.

Cecilia said she wanted a picture with me before we took off. I could never turn those cheeks down. Ha! The first day of first grade was a success. She was super happy when I picked her up. She loves her teacher and some new friends. She did happen to mention someone got on her nerves a little, what can I say she is her mothers daughter. When I put her down for bed she said 'oh I am so excited to go back tomorrow, I can't wait can we just go now?' That makes me one happy momma. To be honest i've been pretty worried all summer about this school thing. We would have been pushing it big time to put her back in adventure(financially) and I didn't want her in a regular public school. Please no offense to anyone reading this. It's just a preference as a parent. I am very conservative about what should be taught to children at school and california does not meet my standards. Anyway that's enough about that, we found a pretty great charter school that meets my standard(without the god thing of course). We are excited for a fun year.

matching

2011-09-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually one of those parents that like to match my girls to the T. However I liked this dress and thought why not just once. This is a picture of the girls before church on sunday. Gosh I love them. I am missing ava today, she started school. I will write about it tomorrow. I can't wait to pick her up.

Some weeks

2011-09-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

I am going to make it after all. This week was just one of those weeks. One of those that I am thankful that Ryan has so much grace for me, one where I wonder where the love for others in my heart is at. One where I wonder when Ryan is going to go to school, gosh I wish that process wasn't so long. One of those weeks where I have shed tears because i'm wondering how Jesus can love someone like me. His love really does surpass all. One of those weeks where I look at my girls and wonder how in the world did I get so privileged to be their momma.

Thank God the weekend is here. But keep me in your prayer friends(whoever even reads this). We have some excitment in our hearts because my little dear ava is going to start the first grade tuesday. That is huge in my book. And I know she is going to do a profound job at loving others and making friends(new school). She is a beautiful example of love.

When I sit and take the time to write out a quick note like this one it reminds me of my blessings, which is always a good thing.

2011-09-01T16:43:00.001-07:00

my loves

2011-08-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

I had put baby c on the bed while I ran downstairs to get something earlier and when I came back this was how ava was snuggling her. I grabbed my camera quickly. Ava learned a new verse from our devotions this week, 'every good and perfect gift is from above' james 1:17. Looking at them that could not have been more true. They are the sweetest.

Baby blues

2011-08-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Winnie cooper

2011-08-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Meet our new bird winnie cooper. As a child we had 2 finches than later parakeets. I have always loved birds and I kept going back and forth on if I wanted to buy one. Well last saturday ryan and I went to pick one out and although she wasn't my first choice(the $100 finchs were) she will do. And since my favorite show growing up was wonder years I figured this was the perfect name. Maybe we will have to buy a boy soon and name him kevin arnold. So far winnie will climb onto our finger but than she flies away. I'm hoping she warms up to us real soon.

Beautiful

2011-08-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

I love this picture because I love coffee.. My latte doesn't look like this because it's iced not hot. However it always tastes as good as these look.

Boots

2011-08-23T20:40:00.001-07:00

Here is the deal.

I want these $150 boots

mayyyybeee these for $90.. but i'm not crazy about them.

And technically I can only afford these. Sale $33.95

Looks like I need to be saving my pennies, or more like my twenties.

It's thursday

2011-08-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

“maybe the greatest gift you could ever give your children besides
Jesus Christ would be the gift of time.” anne ortlund

Growing up I never had the biggest dreams. I am pretty simple and don't want a whole lot. When I was in fifth grade I wanted to be a meteorologist and as I got older that faded. I still dream of writing children's books. Other than that I never knew what I wanted to "be". Being a mother has really brought a comfort to my adult self. I am not the best homemaker. I am still very much in the learning phase. I can do laundry and clean very very well. I like to bake, not sure how great I am at it but I enjoy it. Cooking is a new trade for me. Yesterday I made a meal and it came out really good which feels good too.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be finding a career. That would help a whole lot with our finances. Than when I put my girls to bed at night or I read a quote like the one above I feel at peace with what I am doing right now. We don't have a lot of money we are on a tight budget. Sometimes a scary one. Ryan works very hard to provide what we have. We can't go on fancy trips or go on shopping sprees...

However I feel like I am living out my calling in life. I am a mother to my favorite little one's. And I have all the time in a day to give to them. My life is revolved around them and what they feel like doing today. I don't always find myself in this positive place, I can be negative at times. But I love my little girls more than any work place or any amount of money. Jesus has brought me to this special place and I am sure that when these girls grow they will remember the days we spent together. That brings joy to my heart knowing that I get to create a home for them. The Lord is good.

3 months

2011-08-17T11:50:00.001-07:00

Can you even believe my little baby is already 3 months! Me either. She is a joy in my life and the others around her. Jesus has placed this baby in my life at a perfect time. Not my perfect time but his, which is way better. My love for her is never ending. I love this girl and everything about her feisty self. Cecilia is growing perfectly. She sleeps through the night. Loves her big sister and puts up with how "not gentle" ava can be at times. She is giggling all the time now. Loves to eat like no other, I have let her suck on a carrot and zucchini and she couldn't get enough. Only wants to be carried or sitting up, she hates to be laying down unless she's asleep. She falls asleep on her own every night. Loves to drink water. :) Loves to be outside no matter how hot it is, loves bathtime and watching tv. I know already! We are crazy about our sweet girl over here..

happy birthday ryan

2011-08-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ryan's birthday was last wednesday!! Of course he worked that day so we just went to breakfast in the morning with his parents and ran errands etc. On saturday we went out to dinner than had cake & presents afterwards.

at lucilles bbq for dinner. i'm not a bbq fan but ryan loves it.

beautiful baby cecilia

ava & cake which she never finishes.

party hats!

ryan loved his gray's anatomy book(no not the show the REAL gray's anatomy) and his new subscription to the new england medical journal. he never asks for anything but he had a great time and i'm glad, he deserves it.

bedtime

2011-08-12T17:22:00.001-07:00

a few pictures from bedtime last night. cecilia has been consistently sleeping through the night for the last couple of weeks which I am very thankful for. as for ava she still tries to stay up later than usual but once she hits the pillow she is out! i love how snugly they are when they are ready for bed.

doesn't she look so pleasant sleeping.

ava using my sling for ariel :)

things

2011-08-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

Ryan said I should dedicate post' about things that I like such as baby items or just stuff in general. I used to once in awhile but I forget to tell you the truth. Anyway I am loving these aden+anais muslin swaddle blankets for cecilia. They create just the right temperature for her. I used to use muslin cloths to wash my face and I liked them so I sure was happy when I found them at target. You can also get bamboo ones at amazon.com I'm not sure where else they have them but babies r us probably does. So if you have a baby you need to get these! Did I mention they can be used as burp cloths and they are way bigger than regular swaddlers which only last like two weeks.

1

2011-08-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

In celebration of completing our first year of marriage ryan and I went on a little date. Dinner and dessert. It was a fun time and very pleasant. What a year it was!! A new baby in the mix of learning to live together etc. I can't say it was perfect and always wonderful, however I can say I am thankful ryan is so easy going and patient. :) Happy one year to us and many many more to come.

sufficient

2011-08-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2011-07-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

some ideas i love

2011-07-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

little sweetheart

2011-07-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

park afternoon

2011-07-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

day dreaming

2011-07-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

bumbo

2011-07-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

first day in her bumbo and she loves it. this girl always wants to be up and looking around, she is not happy laying down so the bumbo is really going to come in handy I can feel it now.

2 months

2011-07-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

I can't believe two months have passed since my baby girl was born. She is such a lovebug. However she is still fussiest from 4-8pm til she get's her bath and she sleeps the night away. She usually wakes up once to eat about 1:30 or 2am and lately since ryan gets home late he does that feeding. Than she wakes up about 6 thirty, but than you have nights like last night and she sleeps the whole night. I love those nights! They keep happening more often and I am very grateful for them. We took her for her check up last thursday and she weighs 10 lbs 11.8 ounces. Her height and weight are in the 50th percentile, so opposite of ava who was always in the 90th. Anyway her visit was great, she has the sweetest doctor and we are not doing any vaccinations so that helps for a smooth appointment. Baby C is really sweet. She smiles so much all day long and giggles all the time now. She still loves to eat and she loves her paci. I love having her around.

vbs

2011-07-17T23:23:00.001-07:00

ava had vacation bible school this past week and she had a blast! she would come home everyday cover her mouth and giggle at all the sweets they had for snack.. she knows we don't allow that at home. she loved having her face painted, all the water slides, crafts and worship. wish i would have gotten pictures of her with her group, maybe next year.

faces

2011-07-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

i feel like i am staring at ava right now when she was this age, just in a lighter version. i'll have to do a side by side photo soon and you will be surprised my babies do resemble eachother!

eat dessert..

2011-07-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

perfect

2011-07-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

moving

2011-06-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

we are currently in the process of moving. two rooms and a bathroom were painted and they look so much happier. i am having fun seeing my items from our wedding or the things we've collected this last ten months finally able to be used or displayed. anyway when we were at the wedding last weekend they used those yellow ball flower looking things and i love them, than i walk into west elm last night and they were everywhere. so pretty.

the best man

2011-06-27T22:37:00.001-07:00

Last thursday and friday we drove to kingsburg so ryan could be the best man in paul and jamies (friends from college)wedding. What a crazy two days, but seriously forget all of that the wedding was fun and so sweet. I was totally reminded of how special this covenant is. The lords word amazes me. I am in no way a wonderful or even a great wife however I know that I am thankful to be one and to keep learning.

I love that their dance was to the song from the end of the movie enchanted.

Ryan was so excited, can you tell.

ava loves weddings and she loved this one. she loved the brides dress and she felt so special when she took a picture with them.

us, can't believe we have been married almost a year.

first swim!

2011-06-27T17:31:00.001-07:00

my girls

2011-06-20T22:49:00.001-07:00

4 weeks

2011-06-10T20:49:00.001-07:00

baby girl (i'm not used to calling her cecilia yet) is 9 lbs 0.7 ounces. she sleeps really well at night usually wakes up twice last night only once. today on her 4 week bday she rolled over from her stomach on to her back. i knew she was strong but geez! her eyes are still blue and her hair goes from dark brown to red auburn looking to light brown with golden highlights daily. she is a total white girl and looks nothing like me. what's up with me having babies that look and act nothing like me. ;) she squeals very often it sounds like the squeak thing in a puppy toy. i love it. she smiles at mommy so far the most. she watches ava talk and seems very much in a trance when she does. everywhere i go people tell me how beautiful and how much she looks like a doll. she has tiny legs still and she doesn't like to straighten them. she loves to bounce when you stand her, i call her bouncer. she still likes her pacifier but when she's hungry she knows that's not the real thing. she eats like a little piggy, i can say thatbecause she's mine. actually ava was the same they are twins when it comes to eating.the only thing that is like me is her nostrils, ava has them too. hey at least there is something. i love this girl so much and i can't believe she is 4 weeks just shy 3 days of a month. she is so perfect in my eyes already.

Little graduate

2011-06-07T21:12:00.001-07:00

My sweet ava graduated kindergarten today. Way to quickly if you ask me. This year went by really fast and I was so sick from being pregnant most of it so I feel like I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would have liked to. More importantly ava did and that's what matters most. I have enjoyed seeing her develop and come into a beautiful girl. She is so witty and I am so proud of her.

I loved the songs they sang and each child got to say in the microphone 'why kindergarten rocks' and ava said 'kindergarten rocks because kindergarteners are cool'. She is way to cool if you ask me.

my beautiful baby, she rocks that's for sure.

8 inches

2011-06-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

Ava donated two 8 inch pony tails this last saturday. So awesome! She was very excited and so willing to give her hair knowing they would be used for wigs for children with no hair. It was fun to watch and it made me glad to know her hair would be used for a good cause. Here are a few before and after pictures.

Sweet sisters

2011-05-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

oh how i love these babies

love this

2011-05-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

First week

2011-05-23T08:49:00.001-07:00

First week with baby girl being home was kind of crazy. Ryan had taken the first two weeks of may off from work and we were hoping she would be born during that time, but like all things we had no control over that and she wasn't born til the end of those weeks. And life goes on, ava still had school, he still has work and chores still need to be done. I probably over did myself by cleaning the bathroom and doing all the laundry but oh well. Baby C is sleeping really well, I hope this doesn't change. She has an appetite just like ava did. This girl loves to eat! She is a sweetheart. Here are a couple pictures from our little saturday stroll. Nice picture of me huh, scratching my ear, thanks ryan. ;) Ava is doing good, she loves her sister. Soon after our saturday stroll ryan left to volunteer at church, I was upstairs for just a few minutes and ava was downstairs cutting her hair. I never thought she would do that, but she came right up and told me and her explanation was 'mom i am so hot with this long hair'. I just about cracked up but I did have to remind her she is not allowed to use scissors for that purpose. Anyway you can hardly tell, but we have decided to get her haircut and since she has enough she can donate it to children who have no hair.. more on that later. Anyway I am happy to say I am finally feeling normal again. I love not being pregnant!

Spring sing

2011-05-23T08:42:00.001-07:00

Ava's spring sing and open house was friday night. It was super cute as always and fun to see everything they have working on in class. I enjoy looking at her work, I feel like I get a better perspective of her mind. Can't believe this school year is almost done, time is just flying by!

Ava's baptism

2011-05-20T09:13:00.001-07:00

On wednesday may 18th ava was baptized. Wow. When she made that decision right before Easter I was a little surprised but so excited for her. Her teacher had told me ava went to her and asked if she could be. I know she is young but I will never discourage the extreme amount of faith she has and her willingness to show in front of so many that she loves Jesus and wants to follow him. I love that she was able to have this experience at school and I am so thankful for the staff and how serious they take this decision. The serious talks they had with her making sure she knew what this meant and their support has been been a blessing to us. Here are a few pictures of such a special day.

Cecilia faye

2011-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

So odd to think just one week ago I was busy taking cupcakes to ava's class and getting ready for her little birthday celebration at chuck e cheese. Here I am today, seven days later and new mother.

So it started last wednesday baby girl had slowed down in her movements and by thursday evening (i was keeping track) not much had changed. We were at leatherbys thursday night and I had told ryan and he said maybe I should call the advice nurse when I get home if nothing changed. So I called my mom and she said the same thing. Anyway the nurse said why don't you come on in and we'll do a non stress test on the baby and make sure everything is okay. So I got ava ready for bed, got my bag packed 'just in case' and waited for my mom to get home so we could go. I got hooked up to the monitors about 8:45 probably give a few minutes. Within a half an hour she started moving quite a bit and by 10:30 when they checked everything I was about 4 cm dilated and they couldn't see a consistant pattern in her heart rate so they decided to keep me and induce since I was already 4 days past my due date. Sweet right! Except when they actually said it I got a little nervous, don't ask me why.

By 11:30 I was hooked up to the pitocin and by 1:30am the contractions were coming every 3 minutes. I wasn't sure if I wanted a epidural since the first time it didn't work but my nurse was so good to keep checking on me to make sure I was okay. At that point my sis and brother in law were there to hangout with me, or should I say sleep on the bench while ryan slept on the chair. ;) Everything progressed nicely and by 4am I was in so much pain I decided yes. Thirty minutes later I recieved one and I was at 6cm by 5am. I was actually able to sleep for an hour and than I woke up and called my mom and a few others to let them know how everything was going. By 10am I was ready to push and had been experiencing extreme pressure which is really so so painful. Yuck. After 19 minutes of pushing Cecilia Faye Sisneros was born at 10:29am on friday the 13th. 7 lbs 12ounces 20 and a 1/2 inches long. So tiny and perfect. She is so beautiful and I am so in love with her.

I am in such awe when I look at ava and her, they are such a blessing.

On a side note my little ava was in the room and she did so well during the delivery! She has been saying since she was 4 she wants to be a doctor and afterwards my dr showed her the placenta and asked her is she still wanted to be one and she said yes. Such a brave girl, I really don't know where she gets it from. I am so thankful everything went well and that it's over.

Birthday girl

2011-05-10T22:31:00.001-07:00

Today ava is 6. Wow how did we get passed one whole hand. I have never known one little girl with so much love to give. She is nothing like me and I say that happily. She loves people and she has such compassion. Ava always has a compliment to give. She loves the Lord and I truly admire her faith. She is quite an example to me. I am so thankful that my life is filled with her presence. Her beauty is more than skin deep and my prayer for her is to stay focused on Jesus and to follow him. I pray that she would be a young lady of virtue.

Happy Birthday baby girl, you are soo loved.

A glimpse

2011-05-09T11:11:00.001-07:00

-Into my mother's day. It was also my due date but oh well. I'm sure she will be here soon enough. I could not ask for a better calling in life. Although I fail often i'm sure I truly love being a mom. I also love my mom so much and i'm thankful for the example of good mom's out there.

Easter

2011-04-25T13:25:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter! (yesterday) It was a fun day despite me being up all night the night before. We had church which was great and than we went to Ryan's parents for lunch and had easter dinner with my fam.

I don't do the easter basket thing. I could care a less about it, but my mom always get's ava a small one which works out perfect. Ava loves it!

Cute little pumpkin

Ava played bocce ball with ryan and she actually won.

Ryan's parents organized a grown up easter egg hunt and ava loved it. I am no good at those things so they hunted together.

She loved her prizes.

Playtime & egg coloring

And just a few more pictures to look at.

Ava is almost 6

2011-04-25T12:53:00.001-07:00

On Saturday we had a early birthday party for Ava since the baby is due 2 days before her birthday, and we could have had it after but there is to much going on etc.. Anway we had it at Wacky Tacky which is where Ava picked. She loves that place and bounce u so much. It turned out good and the nice part is I was so sick last week so I didn't have to do much when we were there. My favorite is just watching her with her friends/family. She can always put a smile on my face. There are lots of pictures that really say it all.

My favorite part was when we got home and I asked her if she had fun and what she liked best and she said she felt really good about herself. She felt special and that is exactly how I hoped she would feel.

You are my sunshine..

2011-04-12T08:41:00.001-07:00

my only sunshine

you make me happy when skies are grey

you'll never know dear how much i love you

please don't take my sunshine away..

36 weeks

2011-04-12T08:40:00.001-07:00

I went to the doctor last friday and I am 1 cm dialated and 40% effaced! Since i'll be considered "full term" this sunday now it's just waiting til this little baby decides to make her debut. We are all pretty excited!

Sweet Ava

2011-04-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Today I went to go order a birthday cake for Ava's birthday party and I wished she was with me to give her opinion. I than went on to Costco and I wished she was there again so we could eat a treat together. I can't help but miss her these days. Most days I am so sick that it's better she is at school than home with me.

But days like today I wish she was with me. To hold my hand from the car to the store. To talk to me. She always has the best things to say.

I miss her sweet smile, soft kisses and little arms around my big stomach. I like the sound of her voice, even if she is asking the same exact question in ten different ways. My favorite is when we're driving and she will be making up her own songs, or singing one from school or to the one I have playing. I love when I look back at her and we hold hands for a minute.

This pregnancy has been hard, really hard and Ava has been so good to me. She always gives kisses to the baby. Sometimes she will say "mom I wish you weren't pregnant so you didn't have to be sick so much". And I know she really cares to see me happy. And at night my favorite is when she says will you cuddle me all night?

I love my sweet Ava. My heart is full just thinking of her.

Preparations

2011-04-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

Okay so I am due in about 4 and a half weeks from now and I have been busy preparing. Well actually all of march i've been. In february I finished my last days of work for good and I have been getting everything organized and set to go for when this little girl arrives. We are very excited! More than anything I am ready to be done being pregnant. Can't say that enough!

I can't wait to buy normal clothes again. I've seen so many cute dresses but I can't buy them until I know they will fit. I am so ready to not be sick anymore. Yes I am still getting the typical 'morning sickness' on certain nights. Not fun at all. My cleaning habits have been extreme these days. I love a clean house. I don't like to see piles of laundry, dusty furniture etc.. that kind of stuff you know. Except lately nothing seems to be clean enough. I just finished washing all of our pillows, sheets, duvet cover and ironing them. I am ready for decent sleep. Yes I know I am going to be up with the baby but at least if I can sleep a good few hours here and there and be comfortable than i'll be thankful. Most of all I am ready to meet this little one. I wonder how big she will be, what she will look like.

Other than all of that we have been having fun. I wish I had pictures of everything. We just got a new canon rebel t2i and usually I would be using it like crazy but I haven't. I'm not really sure why. With easter and ava's birthday party coming up I will have some new pictures to share. So until than or sooner..

My dad

2011-03-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to start this post or subject on my dad because there are so many words I can say. I haven't seen him in 12 years. I truly didn't know if this day would come. I didn't think of it often but I always kept him in my prayers and I would think of him from time to time but after so many years of living such a different life you kind of feel like you don't know someone anymore. Now that I look at these last 12 years I can see how the Lord was working. Preparing hearts for forgivness, allowing hurts to heal and people to grow.

It was good to see him. So much has changed. Circumstances and situtaions have brought him to a very different place in his life. No matter the case I was joyful that Ava was able to meet him, that we got to catch up on what has been happening.

He lives in the "high desert" and so we drove down there for the weekend. Friday night we talked for awhile, broke the ice basically. Saturday we were able to hangout with him and a few family members. Ryan was unable to go because of work but hopefully he'll get to meet him another time.

Ava chased their rooster, chicken & doggie around all day. She loved that.

We hungout in the garage for awhile.

Even though it's the desert it was so cold!

On sunday we went to a nearby church which was my favorite. When I worship the Lord it brings so much peace and hope into my heart. I am thankful that this door was opened. My prayer is that the Lord would search my dad's heart and bring him to where HE wants him to be. That my dad would have peace in his heart and to know that we love him and there is no judgement from his children.

us after church & ava insisted on changing out of church clothes right away. oh that girl.

Ready

2011-02-25T10:00:00.001-08:00

I wouldn't say I am a hundred percent ready for this baby, but that's because I know she still has some growing to do. Other than than we have her little bed ready for her and a few items to wear. The rest will fall into place really soon. Maybe when we have another little one we will actually have space and i'll get to put together a nursery. Although I can't imagine having enough space for a really long time so let's not go there. Anyway here is her cute little crib. I'm excited to have pictures of our little girl in there very soon. :)

A Valentine

2011-02-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

Okay so you may remember my post from last year's valentine's day. A day trip to SF to see Wicked, dinner, presents, etc.. Well Ryan really didn't know it than I am not your typical present girl. Yes they are nice. Yes I totally appreciated them especially when he put so much thought into it. Except overall I could care a less about gifts. Seriously. I would rather have the day to day things, like helping me out, bringing me a latte etc. And he totally does those things, and I appreciate them. So than Valentine's day comes around and just like Christmas I told him I didn't want to exchange anything. Plus he was out of town for the night for school stuff. Anyway this morning he had flowers and a card for me, and a little stuffed puppy(her favorites)for Ava. Even though those objects mean nothing to me, I thought it was really sweet and I felt it needed a little blog post. Thank you bryan, I love ya. :)

Daddy daughter sweetheart ball

2011-02-15T18:42:00.000-08:00

What a dream it must be to be five and a half and going to a ball. Ava was excited for this day and asked for two weeks prior "is it today"? Than the day came. First it was a friday so the end of the week means she was really tired and of all things to happen she fell flat on her face at school and was scraped on her little chin and her lip was swollen with a cut. That is the worst phone call to get. Thankfully she is a tough girl and was waiting in the office for me when I came to pick her up with no tears at all, and than I hugged and kissed her all up, I felt so bad for her.

We went home and I bathed her and got her all dressed up and ready for her daddy to come pick her up. My little sweeheart. She is the prettiest little thing to me. So back to it being friday, tough day etc.. The moment her dad came to pick her up she had a melt down. I could tell she was nervous and tired all in one. It took a few minutes to calm her down and than they were on their way.

Here is Ava and her dad when she came home. She was so excited and told me all about her night. She enjoyed dinner, dancing, dessert and seeing all her little friends from school. What a special night. I really am thrilled she was able to go. We're not sure if she will be at this school next year with so many changes so it made this night even more special.

happy valentine's day!

2011-02-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

How do you feel seeing 5 pictures of me on love day!!! Haha! Really though this post is more about me being 7 months now. Crazy really. I am totally feeling it too. Especially when we went to pizza and leatherbys saturday night and the next morning I felt swollen. Probably all that salt and sugar. Anyway other than aches and pains because my back can not handle any extra weight on my front, I am good to go. Dry heaving is pretty much non existent and I am feeling good. Yes I am really tired and I wake up at least twice a night but that's way better than how I felt before. I am almost done working and ryan's school stuff is coming along. Hope everyone had a great valentine's :)

28 wks above

9 1/2 wks-12 1/2 wks- 18 wks- 23wks

last pictures i'll be posting that are of me specifically posing by myself to show my bump.

thoughts

2011-02-09T10:56:00.000-08:00

When ryan and I got married someone I know wanted to make a necklace for me as a gift. This is what I wanted on it and than she made it. My favorite verse, a cross first because that's the only reason we are here and our names together as a new family. I've never even worn it because i'm really not a jewelry person other than the pearl earrings i've had since I was a little girl and now my wedding rings, but I like to see our names together. And it's also a reminder of how exciting it will be to add little sister's name really soon. That makes me smile.

Ava's story

2011-02-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

I want to have Ava's birth story written somewhere before baby girl comes and maybe they'll mix together who knows.

It was Monday evening May 9th, 2005. It was 8:05pm when I got my first contraction. I didn't have any false ones before that, just some uncomfortable back pain. I was thrilled that she was coming, finally.. but so scared at the same time. I'm sure there is a reason that you have to wait 40 weeks for a baby to come because at that point you are just so done you don't care how bad it hurts. At least that's how I felt. My contractions came off and on for the next couple of hours than more consistently. I was unsure of when to go to the hospital so I waited it out as long as possible basically until I was in so much pain I wanted to cry. My contractions were very close like 5 minutes apart and they were so so painful. We arrived at the hospital about 3:30 am maybe a little after that. I was checked into a room, hooked up to the iv thing and monitors. I wanted an epidural but they told me that they weren't sure if they had anyone there to do it. I was 5cm dialated and I was very nervous so my body could not relax. I also had very bad back pain. I know I sound dramatic but I felt like I was going to be paralyzed. Talk about an imagination, but I could see it in my head and I kept thinking what am I going to do if I can never walk again. I have to laugh looking back now. About 6:30am I was able to get an epidural and I was pretty scared when I saw the needle that was going to enter my spine. Afterwards I did feel more calm, except the epidural slowed my dialating so they added pitocin into the iv and than about 10:30ish I started feeling my contractions again. I was not a happy camper. They only got worse after that and basically what happened the epidural was wearing off from the pitocin that was given to me. After a whole lot of pain and unbelieveable pressure it was time to push and Ava Claire Vargas was born. She was so perfect, 8lbs 4 ounces 21 inches. Tons of hair and my doctor made a joke saying you can braid this babys hair. Others said it would fall off but I knew it wouldn't. I have some serious thick hair and so does ava's dad.

After 17 hours of pain and uncertainity I had the best gift. The healing process was really hard on my body and I had a fever for a few days after that, sleepless nights were overwhelming no doubt, except I experienced such great love for my little girl. And it hasn't stopped. My love for her fills my heart. More importantly I felt I understood that God truly loves us so much, more than I could ever really grasp.

I can't imagine what having two little girls will be like. I have to admit I am a little nervous for labor again but I'm looking forward to having another precious baby to care for. That part makes me smile.

Ava

2011-02-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

notice the bandaid on her sweater, she said well I just wanted to keep it because it's cute. funny little girl.

Just a little update to how Ava has been. Really good if you ask me. I still look at her like she's the greatest thing on two legs but as she get's older and smarter by the minute I realize I need to be very careful about that. In my eyes she will always be 'perfect' I say that loosely, but I want her to be a good little girl that grows into an even better adult so the hard work has to be done.

Ava is doing so well in school. Her favorite subject is science. She still wants to be a doctor when she grows up, that hasn't changed in over a year. She loves to be active. One friday (her PE days) I watched her and it was the cutest thing. She takes her ponytail and clip out of her hair and puts her all into it. So opposite of me. She is learning to read very nicely. I love to read and so far she is the same. Ava still loves to joke around about everything. That can be good and challenging because sometimes i'm not sure when she is or isn't. She is sensitive with me but not with others. Recently she started getting allowance, $1 a week for doing her chores when she get's home from school and picking up after herself. She is not a messy little girl so it seems to work out pretty good so far. Of course some days are better than others. Ava is very caring. Her favorite person is still my mom. She loves animals very much. She is sassy and is always being reminded that is not okay.

So there is a little update for me mainly. And last but certainly not least on January 25th she made the most important decision of her life. I had recieved an email from her teacher that Ava asked if she could pray with her and ask Jesus into her heart. When Ava gave the news to my mom she said it was so amazing. Wow! Talk about exciting. I truly felt like I won a million bucks. I know she has a long journey ahead of her but to already have conviction and a testimony at such a young age, I feel confident that she is on the right path..

Shakeys

2011-02-01T13:27:00.001-08:00

we drove to oroville a couple sundays ago to eat shakeys pizza. my favorite. boring little town but good pizza!

24 weeks

2011-01-17T11:11:00.000-08:00

As I sit here and type I am sitting at my desk and ava has made a little home underneath it with her stuffed animals and is playing quietly. That makes me happy. As of yesterday I am officially in the beginning of the sixth month. Crazy how time passes. Ryan and I have been married almost six months, which is odd because in pregnancy land you count as pregnant before you really are so it looks like i've been pregnant longer than i've been married, so not true. Anyway things are moving along. And since I try and highlight the good stuff here on the 'blog' I will say we both feel thankful and we have learned quite a bit about ourselves.

I am not anxious for baby girl to be here but I am not fond of these growing stages in my body. She moves like crazy which is good, but it's different than ava was. Ava moved around the most in the evenings and when I was still, not this little girl. She moves when I am up and moving around and when I am still. I'm sure that means nothing. I hope these next 16 weeks or so of pregnancy things go smoothly and hopefully ryan and I can be productive to finish some tasks off our list.

baby girl

2011-01-11T09:34:00.001-08:00

Just some items that I have either bought/want for the little one. We already purchased that really cute elephant bedding and we will be purchasing the white crib and the high chair. I picked out those dresses on sale over the last couple of weeks with some other good finds. I like to plan and I bought sizes that she will fit in this time next year. And last but not least that is the baby bag I want, isn't it cute.

Some things are just

2011-01-05T23:05:00.001-08:00

pretty.

Ryan and I have been collecting fun things for our home and he's actually very into it like I am which I appreciate. Anthropologie is one of my favorites, but let's face it the clothes are very pricey unless it's on clearance. The kitchen section however is not. They have the best little finds. I can't wait to use all our goods from there wherever we end up living which is unknown at this point. So my dear husband, if you are reading this and i'm sure you are :) than just know how much I really like this little number. I'm not sure I would cook any more than I already do but I know I would bake and hey it's a little incentive for me to want to right..

Happy new year!

2011-01-02T21:13:00.000-08:00

Pizza and a movie with almost all of my favorite people on new years day. That means other than me being sick through most of it, it was a good day. Yes I totally relapsed and was sick again "morning sickness" not the flu or anything serious. My nausea is going away again and hopefully it'll stay this way. I can't believe another year has gone by. Crazy how time flies. I can just imagine what this year holds with baby girl due in may and ryan (hopefully) starting med school in the fall. If he get's in of course, if he doesn't than it isn't Gods timing. I don't have any other resolutions except for my on going one to lean on the Lord and to grow in him. I have learned this last year that I am not alone. He has truly shown me his grace in many ways and I am so thankful. There has been a tough situtaion that I have been going through and these last few weeks were the hardest. I finally feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am amazed at how the Lord works through others. I have so many supportive family members and very supportive friends in our church that I am grateful for. I give God the glory for this. I feel so much better (emotionally)these days and I know that strength isn't from me. Here's to a new year.

Christmas twenty ten

2011-01-02T21:03:00.001-08:00

Here are my two favorite pictures of christmas. Hope everyone had a merry time!

20 weeks

2010-12-20T17:31:00.000-08:00

I am 20 weeks along now, as of yesterday. It's odd to think I am half way there. But the glass is still half empty because I have 20 weeks to go. Yikes..

This is a picture as I sit here with ava napping on me. She should not be napping because she will sleep late tonight. As she fell asleep I knew I should have done something to wake her but my heart is a bit sad right now and I just couldn't bring myself to take this moment from myself. I'm not sure how many more times she will fall asleep on me before my stomach grows to big, or when she'll get to the age when she just won't want to. That makes me a little more sad.

At five months I am still not 'better'. I am very emotional and can't wait for this stage to be over. I still can't eat in n out without getting sick. Not cool. I still love my lattes and no people caffeine will not kill your baby, preservatives and junk will in my opinion. I am starting to really show which I don't like. I know everyone says well brooke you're pregnant but I want to be able to wear my clothes as long as possible.

So happy 20 weeks to me.

My angel

2010-12-20T17:25:00.000-08:00

Remember when I said I didn't want anything for Christmas? Well I was wrong. I forget when you have a child in elementary school they make the cutest handmade ornaments. Here is mine, my little ava dressed as an angel. When I opened it my eyes teared up. Than she said 'mom they made me dress up like that'. Nothing like ava comment. :)

Flashback friday

2010-12-17T14:06:00.001-08:00

I always forget about it now and days but this time I remembered. So here is a picture from ava claire's first christmas. Wow she is so cute to me I could just eat her up ;)